I recently installed a new seat on a bike and upon looking through the instructions I noticed a disclaimer, which stated something along the lines of, “Improper installation of this product may result in injury or death.”

“Really?” I thought. I began conjuring up scenarios of catastrophes that could happen as a result of installing this damn seat! I could die because I’ve improperly installed this seat. Great. I’m not prepared. I have no will, no living trust (whatever that is), I’m 31 and I’m supposed to be invincible damnit! Didn’t you know that, reaper?

But seriously, after suppressing my laughter I dissected this statement in a few parts since it’s very general. It doesn’t classify who might die or get injured, but only that injury or death may occur as a result; and not necessarily the rider atop the seat (me or a fellow editor) has to be seriously injured or die, but someone directly affected by the occurrence; or maybe even something because tangible objects can be killed to the point that they don’t work anymore in my opinion (I seriously killed an old car of mine in an off-road adventure to the point of being beyond repair.). And lastly, could it mean that this product itself might be possessed by a demon that may come alive at any second and viciously mutilate me like Chucky from Child’s Play? Doubtful, but you have to break down the verbiage.

OK, my point here is that it’s absurd that disclaimers are stamped on every little product based solely from the concern of being sued. But it’s even more absurd that there are those out there that sue with no basis for litigation in the first place, like the certain percentage of jackasses that have taken advantage of the system, and as a result we live in a ridiculously cautious and extraordinarily fearful world. Yes, there are millions looking for a free ride, a big break, etc., who’ve ruined it for the rest of the straight shooters. That’s what really chaps my hide!

Of course the flipside is that there are cases where severe injury or death may occur as a result of a faulty product (remember Toyota’s series of acceleration disasters?), and I do believe the manufacturer needs to be held accountable and the party involved should be compensated appropriately. But for every single product, is it necessary?

Bye for now…